Thursday, March 20, 2008

Five Years Ago

I was thirty-nine weeks pregnant with our first baby. After two miscarriages within six months, the pregnancy was so exciting for us. But it was to all come crashing down.

No heartbeat--No fetal movement--No joyous ending to the long nine months, only tears and pain. Our daughter would never draw a breath or open her eyes. She would only ever be a memory that we carry still in our hearts.

I'm not sure sometimes how my husband and I made it through those first days. I know that God's presence was almost tangible at times when I thought the tears were going to destroy me. I know that Jesus was there with me every moment, even when the anger and bitterness began to come. I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to move on and be happy again. But as always, my Lord remained faithful. He kept me through every stage of grief. He brought me out of the darkness and confusion of loss. When the pain led to sin, He forgave and comforted me and drew me back to His side. His hands guided and kept us. His grace preserved our love for each other and protected our marriage. His wisdom led us through, and His sovereignty gave us two sons.

Hosea 6:1
Come, and let us return to the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.

Psalm 115:3
But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.

Joshua 1:9
...Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Even through death and pain!!!)

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.


Mrs. Nichole Jordan said...

What joy it will be when you meet her in Heaven one day!!!!!!!
ALl those tears will be gone. What a wonderfull thing to be in the arms of our Father.

Mrs. Walker said...

That thought is my comfort. She is with the Father, safe and loved and praising God forever!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, sweety! Mom and I wish we were able to be with you but our God has us in India at this time. We love you and are thankful that we have a Father in heaven who cares for His children in ways we cannot even begin to. We have been thinking of you and Steven all week and are praying for you both. God is faithful!
Dad and Mom

Blake & Shaunna said...

I cannot even imagine your pain. Praise the Lord for His comfort and for His faithfulness. What a beautiful family and two precious little boys he has blessed you with. Praying that He will be your strength on this difficult day.

Cindy said...

Rebekah& Steven I am praying for you both,I know that it is such comfort knowing that Abigail is with the Lord and OH WHAT JOY it will be when the both of you will be able to see your Precious Abigail again. What a Blessing knowing that one day we all will see our little Abigail.
Love you guys

happy little momma said...

Sorry to hear of your loss, and thanks for your comments on ours/my sister's...keep praying for her, she's struggling.

BTW, you didn't happen to have a midwife (Carol H?) during that pregnancy did you????

Thanks again for your prayers...

sarahdodson said...

Hi, Rebekah. I've been thinking of you and praying for you. May our great God continue to comfort your hearts as you remember your daughter. He is faithful.