I was thirty-nine weeks pregnant with our first baby. After two miscarriages within six months, the pregnancy was so exciting for us. But it was to all come crashing down.
No heartbeat--No fetal movement--No joyous ending to the long nine months, only tears and pain. Our daughter would never draw a breath or open her eyes. She would only ever be a memory that we carry still in our hearts.
I'm not sure sometimes how my husband and I made it through those first days. I know that God's presence was almost tangible at times when I thought the tears were going to destroy me. I know that Jesus was there with me every moment, even when the anger and bitterness began to come. I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to move on and be happy again. But as always, my Lord remained faithful. He kept me through every stage of grief. He brought me out of the darkness and confusion of loss. When the pain led to sin, He forgave and comforted me and drew me back to His side. His hands guided and kept us. His grace preserved our love for each other and protected our marriage. His wisdom led us through, and His sovereignty gave us two sons.
Come, and let us return to the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.
But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.
...Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Even through death and pain!!!)
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.