So, this was a surprise. Absolutely unexpected. Absolutely "unplanned". Guess the Lord knows best, because my thoughts were more along the line that I wasn't up to or ready for being pregnant again ANY time soon. I'm praying His grace will be sufficient as He has promised!
Am I happy? YES!!
Am I petrified? YES to that too!!
Honestly, this past year has been exhausting and SUCH a struggle for me and my sweet husband. We had been saying that we wanted and needed a bit of a break, some time to just BE, before considering a new member of our family. I have struggled tremendously this past year with extreme postpartum-like symptoms. It got to the point that I began to wonder if I was going to need medical help to get past what I was feeling and experiencing. Thankfully, the Lord showed me that that the cause was something relatively simple and could be addressed in a more natural way, but I only began in July to treat the problems and am still struggling with lingering symptoms.
If I am being completely honest, even after a good result from blood tests that showed proper levels of hormones, I'm fearful of losing this baby because of all the problems I've had this past year and because I know how important hormone levels are to a successful pregnancy.
So, I'm once again on a roller-coaster ride of emotions! Pray that I will be able to TRUST and REST as this pregnancy progresses. I know in my head that the Lord is good, that He does all things well. I want to hold to this in my heart as well!! From now to July when this itty bitty is expected to be born, I desire to keep some equilibrium and NOT stay on the roller-coaster of feelings I'm having right now!
Oh, and on a lighter note, I'm really hoping and praying for a baby GIRL!!! We want some PINK around here!!!!!!!!