The Lord is good!

June 6, 2001-- This was the day that I lost our first child. As a Christian, I put no faith in and have no superstitions concerning dates, but when that nurse told me over the phone that June 6 was the date of Brandon's surgery, I have to admit that it affected me. I knew that God would be in control whether his procedure was the 6th, the 16th, or the 26th, but still that added something to my fears for my son.

I also dealt with the memories of losing Abigail, especially the memory of giving my daughter to my dad and watching him walk out the door with her body, knowing that I would never hold her again. I knew that when I had to hand Brandon over to that nurse, it was going to be the hardest thing I've done in my life up to now!

I wanted to share some of these things here with my friends that read my blog. You all know by now that Brandon did well and came through everything with a clean bill of health, but I wanted you all to know how the Lord helped me and my family, as well as how gracious He was to Brandon.

My dear friend Nichole and my parents were with Steven and I through last week. I don't think we could have made it through the waiting and the long days without their support and helping hands. They were there to see us through each moment, each update and each consult. My dad's prayer in the waiting room after we gave Brandon over to the nurse meant so very much to me! I know that the Lord heard him as well as all those who were praying for us last Wednesday.

Steven and I were waiting for the doctor to talk to us when they wheeled Brandon out of the operating room. I heard his cry before I saw them bring him through those doors. What a precious sound it was in that moment! He was definitely letting those nurses know how unhappy he was about not having eaten in several hours!

The doctor sat down with us to let us know that she was very pleased with the outcome of the procedure. Her words were, "There was a big pop, so I'm certain we got a good result." I'm wasn't sure I wanted to think about that too much, but I'm glad that the balloon they inflated inside his valve did what it was suppose to do. Brandon's valve will never be perfect, but it can be made "good enough." That is what happened. He will have to be monitored regularly for the rest of his life, but the Lord willing, this procedure did its job, and he will not have to have a cardiac catherization again.

The little guy was such a trooper!!! He really did so well being poked and prodded and held down and kept away from mommy. I can tell that he's not quite back to normal yet as far as eating and sleeping, but physically he's doing wonderfully! I think he's more alert now as well. He's staying awake more during the day and looking around and responding to our voices in ways that he wasn't just a few days ago. We had several rough days after coming home, but I'm hoping that we're getting back to some semblance of normal now! I could really tell that he was wanting to be close to me those first few days home. He cried a lot more and pretty much wasn't happy unless he was cuddled in my arms. Believe me, I was happy to give him what he wanted!

The Lord has been so merciful the past few weeks. It hasn't been easy, but I know that He was with us through it all and will continue to walk with us through whatever the future holds for our family.

We are facing so many decisions right now as a family. I believe that the outcome of Brandon's surgery was a token of God's love for us and His continued watch-care over us in the midst of what is a time of trial not only for our immediate family, but extended family as well. Steven's mom is not doing well physically. She's in the hospital again with unexplained symptoms that are baffling the doctors who have examined her. My brother is about to be deployed for the second time to Iraq, and my brother-in-law has been there since last August and doesn't expect to be home until at least October.

So, I ask that you all continue to keep us in your prayers, but the Lord is gracious and hears the prayers of His children.

Psalm 13:6- I will sing unto the LORD, because He hath dealt bountifully with me.

My sons

There aren't words to express how very grateful I am to the Lord for giving me, not one, but two precious little boys to love and cherish.

I have read about several different families recently that have gone through terrible times of pain and grieving because of losing their sons to genetic disorders. Their stories have made me even more aware of how fleeting life is and how thankful we need to be for every minute God gives us to enjoy our children.

So, be thankful for every moment you have with those whom you love! We have no guarantees of tomorrow. We have no promises for a future here with our loved ones.

I am blessed to know that whatever tomorrow holds, I have a God that will carry me through and has promised to be with me every moment.

Ryan and Brandon, Mommy loves you with all her heart!

The LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away. Blessed be the name of the LORD. ~JOB